January 05, 2007
don't forget me
i feel like the medication is squashing my extraordinary and making me ordinary. its squeezing it out of me and making me plain. crushing my light, if you will.
i don't like it and therein lies the problem.
the paradox.
i need the medication to be normal but the medication is draining me of that which makes me me. i identify myself with my crazies and i feel comfortable wrapped in them. they are endearing to me and i feel safe within them. i know them and they know me. they are true and real in their lies and mockery of my life.
i know that this is likely not so but it feels this way today. it very much feels this way today. i feel very ordinary today and i don't like ordinary. i don't want to be ordinary.
i am suffocating in ordinary.
i don't want to be forgotten or swallowed up in ordinary.
giggle-more at 3:34 PM
previous | next