January 17, 2007
sucks to be me when i'm crazy
did i fail to mention that the dosage of my meds has changed? that my crazies have stormed the proverbial castle and thusly the wall had to be made stronger? i'm working my way to 100mg up from 50mg and am currently on 75mg starting yesterday.
i was a complete and utter mess yesterday.
it came on so suddenly. it started sunday and felt like i just slipped off a slippery grass hill after a rainstorm. and i just kept sliding. i couldn't stop.
the panic was overwhelming and consuming. i was crying and maniacal but i couldn't help it. there was nothing i could do to calm myself down. it was the worst feeling ever. i haven't felt that way since going on the medication and i don't ever want to feel that way again. i certainly can't believe i ever lived the majority of my life that way.
i can't believe i resisted suicide so long. much less failed when i did attempt. fuck it sucks to be me when i'm crazy.
giggle-more at 10:31 AM
previous | next