January 14, 2007
things
well, travel team tryouts were this morning. i am back to my jammer fighting self. i kicked some major ass and am so fucking stoked! i am a fantastic jammer if i do say so myself... i had so much damn fun and missed derby so much! i can't believe it's been a month since i skated! a month too long.
only 17 girls showed up for the tryouts so we all made the travel team. there is an A string and a B string. that hasn't been determined yet. we will find that out on thursday at practice. the A team will always play while the B team is backup for the A team if someone cannot play.
i'm sure i made the A team. yes, i'm that good.
the fatigue is gone completely. the workouts have made me very strong and i'm lean muscle. i've gotten very fast and my endurance is through the roof. i'm so proud that i've gotten better than i was before i started the topamax.
it's fantastic... i played so well today.
i applied for, interviewed for, took a drug test for, and am now waiting for the call back for a job with sprint. hopefully i will get it and find out next week. i really need to get a job. i'm getting stir crazy and we really need the money.
my weight is still down but fluctuating and i was shocked and a bit frightened to see that my weight was 100 pounds today. my guess is that the reason is going to be quite different than you might think. i was shocked because my weight has been under 100 for over a week and i was getting quite used to that and (quite frankly) starting to like it and feel safe and cozy in it. the fear sort of shocked me because i don't know why it made me afraid. this time a year ago i was almost 120 pounds. the idea of that scares the shit out of me now.
i'm sick of everyone talking about my weight and i'm trying to figure out how to respond so that people stop talking about it... i don't want people to worry but i don't want to gain any weight either. so the query then becomes... how do i brush off the comments and set people at ease so that they stop noticing and feel ok about my current weight? i am still quite healthy... eating... working out... strong... etc...
so how do i get them to stop talking about it like i'm not those things?
i simply don't know.
i have a photo shoot with m and k tomorrow night. i'm really excited. it is going to be so fun to get some tripod shots. that's what i call us... the three of us... the tripod. i love those girls... we're shooting with a friend of mine... here's his myspace if you'd like to check out some of his work. he's awesome... we're shooting in wifebeaters, black lace undies, and high heels... smoky makeup and it will be all hugs and limbs and lips and love... they will be beautiful photographs! i'm so excited... i'll post something when i get something.
giggle-more at 8:54 PM
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